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| Cerpen Islami |
Honestly, I do not remember exactly how much of this stems taste. David, I really did not realize it. Love that it comes without realizing, slowly began to grow and blossom can not help anymore. Hmm maybe I really fell in love with him, or just sympathy confusing? I myself am not able to tell the difference. Clearly, there is a pile miss if one day I did not hear his voice, there is a flash of tightness in the liver if you see another girl admiring herself in front of me.
"Have you ever fallen in love?" At that time I casually asked him.
Hehehe, he laughed at me, then say,
"Of course, I'm still human. But if I fall in love, what yes I had to fling it at the general public so that everyone can see it? Or should I write in my status on social networking so that everyone knows? Of course not. I choose to fall in love with my own. Without I said, is not that still love? Never reduced levels. "He said, smiling.
"You do not want to get married?"
"Says who? Of course want, but not now, not so fast, and not that easy. Not yet time. "
"When is the right time do you think?" I asked probing.
"Hmm ... maybe three years." He said half was not sure.
"Oh, I see? Why? "I asked, curious.
"I'm still not sure."
"Why?" I insisted again.
"It's okay, no obvious candidate." He said laughing.
"I want to." I answered quickly.
David's brother looked at me as if stunned disbelief ....
"Santi, do you even want to marry an ugly man like me?" asked her modestly.
"I love bad things like you."
"I'm not worth it to you." he said again.
"I do not care."
"I do not se-rich yourself."
"I just do not care."
"I'm not as smart as you."
"Ah, you're it. I told you, I do not care." I said getting annoyed.
"Then what do you care?" he asked, looking at me.
"If ..," I began to daydream.
"Shhhh ... do not suppose, because I have a lot of reality that will be me give just for you."
Conversation stopped, again, he made statements that are difficult to understand. Whatever that meant. Arguably close but seemed far, arguably much baseball as well. Thus, our status is not clear.
Until after completing college, I decided to go back to my hometown in Lampung. At that time we were really separated. I went home with grasping a dream that I still have meetings in my heart. Everything about him. The first days I was at home I filled with a lot of daydreaming, crying, even eating is often forgotten, and sick already subscribed almost every Sunday. It's the day-to-day very sad for me.
In year one after my return, I'm still waiting for him faithfully. Hope he soon came to pick me up. But it turns out that the wait was nevertheless come. Year-to-two I'm still with the same hope, waiting for a certainty of it.
"Assalamualaikum." A voice greeting from behind the door.
From the outside pages have stood a handsome man smiling at me.
"Wa'alaikumsalam." I was shocked.
Presence threw my memory to the past, brother Romi, first love, a high school friend. Love. Yes, I once loved him, loved him instead. Love that without I ask and I realized, that eventually led to a feud. Hate each other, blaming each other and reluctant to communicate with each other, because he has committed a mistake that is not possible I'm sorry. Everything started since he entered into an organization that has made his name, the organization that makes it as the most popular man in school, organization that brings it to Dinda, sassy girl who has made the brother Romi so bear forcibly evict me from his heart. Yes, he was the person who's most to blame for the end of our relationship. It's time long ago, I've even been buried deep in the bitter memories.
It seems, is quite six years ago he repel and kill from the heart. And since then, almost all the time were spent without me, instead of me that nobody on the ground, but he never wanted to ask how I was, let alone say hello, just to say hello course he never did. And now, he came back with so suddenly, whatever that means.
For a moment we were silent. Busy with our own thoughts. Until finally he ventured to say,
"Santi, forgive my fault in the past." He said softly.
"Come on, let's just say it never happened." I answered, without looking at him.
My heart seemed to go back to reminisce about the pain, the pain he ever give yourself six years ago is now pushed back like a new wound.
"I wanted to be friends again." He said seriously.
I looked up, almost could not believe what he had just said. Slowly I looked at him, I saw it seems now he has completely changed. It turned out that the period of six years in the past made him realize his mistake.
Then after the meeting that afternoon, we returned intense communicate. Honestly, its presence slowly grow back the love that once was buried by a pile of hatred that I already addressed to him. Love is now beginning to sprout back can not help anymore. That is, until finally brother Romi expressed his intention to propose to me. Although initially I was not convinced by my own feelings, but the family as well as almost all of my friends advised me to take it back. Did not anyone ever made a mistake? So there is no harm in giving a second chance for him. After all, during which time she actually showed remorse and promised not to repeat the folly again.
"You really do not sane, Santi. Waste of time alone, already forget it brother David, as no other man, thank alone application Romi's brother, at least he is more certain. After all, for this brother David was never honest about his feelings for you. What if it turns out she already loves another girl besides you? "Comments my friends.
I paused, trying to absorb the advice. And it seems it is true, is now entering the beginning of the third, I think it's enough for me to recognize any defeat. It seemed, too stupid if I kept hoping he who is without certainty. Although I'm not sure if I've really loved brother Romi back. But at least I could see his sincere intentions.
That is, until a month later I actually met him again, meet with someone who I love, brother David !! It was a meeting that was never thought before. The meeting was very touching. I'm still the same feeling. Just now I was not the old me again. I've shared my brother Romi, after I take the right decision a month ago.
"Santi, will you marry me?" He said surprised me greatly.
Duggg, my heart thundered. The offer, why only now he say? Decision that it was too late, he should say so long. Ah, why suddenly I feel so messed up like this? Oh God, what should I do? I love him, but I also do not want to betray brother Romi! Mixed feelings. Sore. Why? Why now he is saying all this ?? If only I knew he would come, would not let my brother Romi entry and rebuild the ruins of love in my heart !! Now, what should I do to make him understand my condition? Silence to bury memories or even strengthen memories?
"I belong to someone else!" I said firmly, trying to disguise the true feelings.
He looked at me in disbelief,
"Santi, you're kidding right? He said with a laugh.
"Forgive me, brother! Really, now my heart is already surfing on one's heart." I said, looking down inside.
The laughter abruptly stopped, he now seriously looking at me,
"I'm sure you're not really love her. Did not you used to love me? "He protested half in disbelief.
"I'm sorry brother, forgive me impatient waiting, so I had already received the others." I said again.
"I just wanted to make sure that what I believe as long as this is true, that line of life that God has destined for me, is you. But now it is the harsh reality that I found that now that you've been with someone else. "He admitted quietly.
I bowed, guilt was back spread.
"Santi, I beg you come back to me."
I shook my head
"But it's impossible brother, now I belong brother Romi. After all we're getting married next month." Finally came out also the words that had been my bunk earlier.
What I said made him gasp. He looked at me sharply. His eyes implies liver injury in.
"I'm no longer able to stand up straight." He admitted softly.
I shook my head back,
"Never be sad because of the power that will always be my fate to God for you. brother, I believe you're a good person, and you deserve the best. For the size of the se-pious yourself, I'm sure Allah has prepared the best woman that he chose for you later, trust me. "
He nodded with tears in her eyes.
"May you be happy with him." He said softly, fighting back tears that almost spilled, then left that began to sob.
My heart is congested, there is a sense of regret that suddenly burst out of control.
"If you say it first, brother. I definitely still faithful waiting. "I muttered softly.
Wipe the eyes. I do not know how long I was daydreaming, remembering the painful meeting.
"Santi, why are you still here? Come out, the contract will begin. "She peered into the room.
I could not answer anything other than just nodded weakly, following his steps. After the ceremony, I looked far the invited guests were present to witness the historic day in our lives, trying to believe what has happened, try to believe that the men who now sit side by side with me is my husband. Then, just surrender all I could say to him, hopefully this is the best way that God chose for me.
"Congratulations Santi, may be a good family. Honestly, I was thinking, my first thought you were older brother David, "comments Heni, my friend.
"We're just friends." I said trying to smile.
Then, when the party was over, the tears back drip, drip that I weir with a smile throughout the reception party now actually flowing without being able to stand it anymore.
"Santi, why are you dear?" Someone whispered softly, I turned toward the voice.
"Why are you crying? Are you sick? "Asked the brother Romi gently wiping tears with his thumb. Appear once they are worried handsome face.
I shook my head slowly,
"Never mind, I'm just a little tired." I said softly, trying to smile, trying to disguise the true feelings.
"Oh, thank God." He said, relieved.
"If you're tired, rest it first." Bargaining with the friendly, he took the fingers, holding it tightly.
Romi glued brother, he is now smiling at me, but why do I still have to think of brother David? Oh no, no !! I should not like this. He was just part of my past! Past that I should have a deep grave. And should now only brother Romi is in the mind and heart, not another man. Sin is still legal if only I thought of him. "Astaghfirullah," I said istighfar many times in the liver.
I stood up, walked to ablutions, then two cycles kujalankan sunnah prayers with him, along with brother Romi, my priest now.
After the prayer, back a tear trickled down my cheeks. But this time I did not mourn him. I cried for myself, I was crying my heart weakened by destiny. I begged in my prayers now, hopefully the seeds of love still blossom in my heart for a brother Romi, until death do us. And hopefully out there, brother David immediately get the woman who would be able to deliver his dream to the world and happiness hereafter. Ameen.
Publisher by : Muhamad Ramli Terimakasih
